I'm actually going to use my blog to "blahg"

I rarely talk about HS stuff on here because, well I dunno why really but it just never comes up.

Lately I'm feeling again like I have no idea wtf I'm doing. I honestly think I suck at this and I am not that sure that my kids might not do better going off to school. Okay well that's really not true... I mean hello I live in Louisiana, public school is not an option.

Many of the members of my HS group are free spirited and lean toward the unstructured and child led learning models. I read of how their kids love to explore and learn and do all of this great stuff. You know what my kids love? TV, reading for fun, Wii, goofing off.

Hi, I'm Michelle and I have lazy children...

Don't get me wrong, they are great kids and they have chores (they have to be reminded/nagged to do them) and they will do what they have to do... but not one bit more. Our days are filled with negotiations and compromises. "Do I HAVE to do #3 in my daily grams?" Cameron (12) wanted to do something different today and I suggested he read a book off the shelf. He picked a book of Greek Myths... first thing out of his mouth was "Exactly how long do I HAVE to read?" And what I heard was "I'd hate to do one minute more than I might be required!"

Am I doing something wrong? Am I failing? Do all homeschoolers and parents in general have these fears or am I a total freak... don't answer that. ;)

I just want to feel like I am doing a good job, this is the only one I have and it sucks to feel sub par when it's all you have to accomplish. I want them to be good people and I think they will be but I also want them to be as smart as possible and have the best start they can when they leave my house and I'm afraid that I'm failing hard on that account.

Sigh, tomorrow is another day I guess.